Twist Me Around

I never thought much about how I would die. Cause I don't have much time to think about it. I don't even have much time to think about my life.


It's been long since the last time I write here. So many stories happens, and I will tell it one by one. Readers, thanks for always reading my blog, it is such an honor to have many good readers like you all :)


January.

It was the darkest month for me. I didn't do well with my relationship. I didn't do well with my family (and I mean it, having a great fight with my parents wasn't much fun). I didn't feel much happiness like what I used to have when holiday's come. And I got a really bad pain in the ass. Right, right at the ass.

It was the second semester of my senior year in highschool. I just thought about national exam, and so on and so on.. And B, my 25 months boyfriend that I loved so much, he hurted me so good that I screwed up so much. Eversince then, I never think about school, I only think abaout how to get him back (when getting back with him was a very bad idea, I knew it, but I didn't care much). I spent most of my times at school just to sit and listen to my ipod, reading and reading and reading........... And I read the most greatest book ever. It called "Divortiare".

It was written by Ika Natassa, she's amazingly great writers (I also love her first book, A Very Yuppy Wedding) and then by his (my ex-boyfriend) suggestion, I read that book. And that book became one of the good book that I love the most (I also adore The Diary of Anne Frank, My Sister Keeper, The Book of Lost Things, etc.)

And January goes by as it used to goes by. New year, New life, New Mood, new everything, and I mean everything.



But.....




I still can't let go off the one I love he most.
And that's the moment where I know that tears will never be ran out.
Cause for almost a month, I spent my time crying my tears out. Wishing things to be back as they were. And I'm sad, I'm broken, I'm.......... anything but not the good things. You know?






February.



It was way much better.

I didn't think much about my problems. Cause eventually, new problems came and I decided not to care bout it much.
It's about my family.
A disfunction between my Mom and Dad. I don't care about what happen, I just want to go through my life normally, and I did it. Perfectly.




I done some stupid things. And I'm having fun with it.

Do you know what I did?
I lied to my dad. I made a great big fight with him. For one second, I felt so bad for hurting him. But the rest..... I feel fine.
Weird huh?

I lied to him. I said I won't be with B anymore. And I'm so sorry. I can't not be with him, cause Dad, if only you know... How much love I have for him, might have been so much than my love for you.
I know, you've gave me everything that I want. And will keep asking for everything that I want, but you have to know that, no matter how much things you can give me, I only wait for one thing.



A permission to have a relationship with him. That's it.



And I promise I won't lie to you again, I promise, I wont.
And I get hurt by him. You don't have to worried. It's my fault for trusting him so much, you can say, "I told you so", if you want to. I don't mind.
Cause I've grown up, and I'm not your little girl anymore.
I can take care of my self.




I made a terrible mistake, once again.

I stupidly said that I hate my Mom. Hahahaha but at that moment, I do hate her so bad I wanna cry my ass out for Pete's sake.
And I got my aunties and my uncles, also grandma and grandpa mad at me. And I laughed. I really really laughed.
I really got them
But I've said my apology, so yea what ever, I guess.





And about school. I got a pretty good grades.
Realllyyy good grades, and I think I will make it through juniorhighschool and get a good highschool for me to continue my study.

:)









I have mush time to write now.
I have much stories to share again later.

In the past few months. So many things happened. But not only once.
It could be twice, trice, or even four times and more.
And I thought,



"My life was that boring, wasn't it?"



Yes, my life was quite boring. But I have my friends here to always make me smile, and laugh.
And most of all. I have him, as my supporter :')




March.


It's almost national exam's. So I just waste my time with studying and studying, yeap, studying and studying all day long.......... I even study at Saturday night, cool huh? Now I don't have time to play, or relax for a moment hahah I can't even get a 12 hours sleep everyday, hhhhhrrrrggghhh.


Well I guess this is what an 'almost-national-exam-time' kids doing. Study their ass out, ups, I mean, study their brain out. So freaking tired, but I will get what I have been fighting for.


For me, him, us, mom, dad, everyone.








You know what?


I will stop writing here.
I will update this blog if I want to, okay?





And Anyway, I'm thinking about writing about truths on my life.
I think it'll be great to spill out so many things that I hide inside, I hide inside for my self for the past years.









Nice to write here again.
Bye.


<3 Echa.