There's no point to any of this. It's all just a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes.So I take pleasure in the details & put it on a story.
I'm a boring 21 years old girl living in a small but beautiful city -- Yogyakarta. Currently starting her career in a big corporate as a Creative Marketing Associate; trying to get through life one day at a time.
Uvumilivu.
Marks of battles that still feel raw. I did throw a thousands of words out from my thoughts, but I admit, I'm not proud of all the words I said. I mixed up my points with my egos. Bad combinations for trying to explain something, I know. This is new for me, to finally have the courage to say what I feel. So new, I can't, or even worse, I don't know how to, pick the right words to form sentences of the things that I meant to say. I let the important things caught under the piles of angry words. Wrong. I'm trying to figure it out, too, what I want for exact. But reminiscing the times I spilled my thoughts, I clearly made my points. Can you please listen to me?
So today, I spent my day waiting. For the usual greeting that I always make a big deal out of one day from every month, but this time I'm waiting for it. I'm waiting for it, so I will finally seetrying. Hours passed by, I have no words. Either way, I'm grateful that I have never, ever, let the day slipped away from my brain. No matter how forgetful I am about dates, this particular date of every month always passes in my head, even days before it. I silently said it in my head, glad to made it this far, and perhaps the wait would be over in the morning when I wake up. Please, listen.
the things about
The one that you will follow no matter what the circumstances. There is always one person you love who becomes that
definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens
eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for
what you will always love about other people, even if some of these
loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who
defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than
anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the
first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person
still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life,
they will control how you feel about everyone else.
--
Last night I stayed up and decided to wait. This morning I woke up and waited.
Hours passed, I started to wish that this day would just end.
19 hours.
The little things. What I meant.
Listen.
You know, the thing about remembering.. Is that, I don't forget.
